It’s not easy to ask for help. We may feel weak, ashamed, and embarrassed. Perhaps it even makes us look incapable. None of this is true though. In fact, just the opposite.
I have been in many “life” situations when I desperately wanted to reach out for help but was always afraid there wouldn’t be a hand on the other side to grab. Some of this was my own insecurities.
There were times in my past when I did ask for help and no one was there, backs were turned, and/or they just didn’t want to get involved. My guess is they probably assumed others would step in, but if everyone assumes that… we stand frozen in an endless cycle. It was disheartening and I became used to fending for myself. I would just “suck it up” and deal with it. Clearly, this was not the way to live, but I didn’t know any other way.
Recently I was in the Netherlands on business and while enjoying some leisure time, I fell, broke my ankle, and couldn’t travel for 3 weeks. What should have been 14 days in Europe turned into 30. I wanted to be independent and strong. Trust me I tried. Yet, deep down I was so relieved I had help. I was blessed with so many “earth angels”.
It might not be easy to ask for help, but it is smart. Asking for help is a great way to take control of and responsibility for your life. There’s certainly no shame in asking for help.
Ask and you shall receive
- Remember the times you’ve helped someone else. You’ve helped a lot of people over the course of your life. Do you think those people had a reason to feel shame because they asked for your help? You were probably happy to help. You even felt good about helping. You can make someone else feel good just by asking for assistance!
- Asking for help is assertive behavior. There’s no reason to view asking for help as a weak behavior. Assertive people are more successful and take responsibility for their lives. You can practice being assertive by asking for help.
- Getting help saves time. Keep in mind that everything is faster with good help. Getting help is a smart move if you value your time. You’re more efficient when you ask for help. Don’t you want to be more efficient?
- You can do a better job with expert help. You’re not only faster with good help, but you’re also better. No matter what you need help with, there’s someone out there that’s more skilled or talented than you are. It only makes sense to ask for their assistance.
- Remember that many people need help. You only need to turn on the news to see how many people need help. It’s not surprising that you need help from time to time, too. Would you turn down someone that sincerely needed your help?
- Swallow your pride. Pride is rarely a good thing. Pride is often just a weak and overly sensitive ego. Be strong and just do it. Pride comes before the fall, so they say. If you think about it, that makes sense.
- Mentally rehearse asking for help. Visualize asking for help and receiving a positive response. Repeat the process until you can imagine asking for help without a negative emotional response. This is a great habit to build for a variety of situations. With enough mental practice, you can be comfortable doing just about anything.
- Ask for help with something small. Give yourself a little practice. Think of something you could use some help with that isn’t an imposition. Ask for a ride to the store. Ask a friend for a dollar. Ask for some advice. Become comfortable with asking for help.
- Pay for help. If you really need help, and you just can’t ask, then pay someone to help you. Whether you need help painting your house or need help for a mental health issue, there’s a professional that can help.
Peace and Blessings,