Learning to forgive is difficult. I know what it feels like to hold on to anger and resentment and unable to release. I wasn’t happy after my parent’s divorce. I wasn’t happy that what once was will never be again. I felt as if I lost part of my youth by having to grow up so fast. I was young and held on to feelings I wish I had let go of quickly.
Everyone has suffered some sort of emotional hurt through the words or actions of another. Experiencing this hurt is completely natural, but sometimes the hurt lasts longer than it needs to. This makes it harder to be happy and, if we can’t let go and move on, it can ruin relationships.
Someone that can never forgive is someone destined to be alone.
Forgiveness is one of the ways you can profoundly change your life. It’s not always easy, but it’s a skill that can be learned. It just takes practice.
Try these techniques to help you forgive, let go, and move forward with greater happiness:
To Forgive and Let Go
- Think about all the advantages of letting go of your hurt. Make a list of what you would gain by forgiving what has happened to you. Think about how free you would feel. How will your relationship with that person change?
- List the disadvantages of maintaining your negative feelings. What toll is it taking on you and the people around you? How does it affect your friends, family, or co-workers? Is it going to solve anything by continuing down the path you’re currently on?
- Commit to letting go. It’s difficult to accomplish anything without having the intention of doing so. Commit to finding a way to forgive and move on.
- Understand that you have a choice. We are intelligent, thoughtful, people. We don’t have to simply react to things and lower ourselves. You do have a choice about how you interpret things and the actions you take afterward. You can also change your mind and choose something different after your initial reaction.
- Be empathetic. It’s easy to just assume that the other person is just a bad person, but maybe there is more to it. What else do they have going on in their lives? Has something happened in their past that caused them to behave the way that they did? Try to see things from their perspective. You might be surprised by what you find.
- Consider your part in it. Did you contribute to the issue in some way? It’s rare that anyone is 100% innocent when a disagreement occurs. Realizing your part in the matter can help you understand their motivation. Also, it’s important to find forgiveness for yourself, as well, if you regret anything that you did or said.
- Focus on the here and now. Constantly reliving the past just keeps the hurt feelings churning. One of the keys to life is to be in the present. Look around you; what do you see? What are you doing? If you’re talking to someone, be present and not think about other things.
- Move on. Forgive the person and you’ll immediately feel better. We’re at our best when we act with compassion. We feel great, too, when compassion and forgiveness are automatically part of our lives. Forgiveness is something that you largely do for yourself.
Affirmations That Help to Release Anger and Resentment
I release all expectations of having to be perfect.
My choices have created the wonderful person that I am.
I remember all the positive things I have done.
I love myself and am full of confidence. I know that I am a great person, inside and out.
Today, I forgive myself for any and all past mistakes. And I forgive others for their mistakes. When I forgive others, I get better at forgiving myself.
1. What are 3 things for which I should forgive myself?
2. How would my life change if I were better at forgiving myself?
3. Who else should I forgive?
Let’s Laugh Today!
Peace & Blessings,